I made a short video of the glue book page for his birthday. Nothing elaborate, but it shows how to do it and how simple it can be
https://youtu.be/Kj1cQ_bHfek
Self care is a must. We need to take a break from the world around us, including people.
I needed a break due to not sleeping for several nights from leg cramps. I finally had a good night's sleep last night.
Starting over in many ways.
Healing within from my creative mind and becoming me once again is the point of this exercise.
Grief comes from an all consuming amount of things you can't control. I have continually met with brick walls for the privacy and necessary protection of my well being.
As much as I want to share my journey with you, the less I trust the internet and all the nonsense that goes with it.
I took a good look at the way I was sharing my thoughts and concerns in regards to my grieving journey, but somehow it didn't seem to ever meet the needs on the FB system. It became filled with ads and my actual blog was not even visible to me at one point. I decided to come back here to a more friendly atmosphere and simpler way of blogging.
Life has changed drastically for me since 2020. Then in 2021, I lost my husband, he was my world. I know several people suffering losses and most are for their spouse or significant other.
When I talk about a spouse, I am, from this point on, meaning that a spouse is that person who you shared your life with, regardless of a marriage license, gender or what is typically thought of...a spouse is the person you intended to spend the rest of your life with and that is your PERSON!
I have included the posts I shared on the sister page on FB. I feel it is still my journey and those thoughts were the beginning for my healing with my creative mind. I was lost and couldn't find any spark of interest for doing anything joyful in my life.
I began with a Creative Grieving Glue Book series. I have posted some videos on you-tube just to talk though some of my thoughts and troubles. The book is full of random paper, pictures and items making a background for further embellishment later on.
Everyone is different, we all have something that we can do to help ourselves though many times of sadness and emotional distress. When it becomes deeply embedded and nothing helps, perhaps professional therapy will be your next step to recovery.
I am not a therapist, I am an artist and love to create. I have my own way of thinking and doing for myself. It is my story, my journey and I am only sharing that part with you. If you get something positive out if it, that is wonderful.
I hope this blog will be better than the previously published one on FB. I hope it isn't too confusing since the date on the blog will be today's date even though I added the original date I wrote and published it.
I spent the better part of the day creating backgrounds in the new glue book.
A little background I am starting to do small creative projects again, but I still feel less than inspired. However, I am doing the best I can to complete something. That is key to overcoming this block of creativity. The glue book project isn't stressful because it is using the beauty of those who fill magazines, catalogs or other things to create something new instead of throwing it away. The demand of having to start from scratch is out of the equation. Art that would be cast out to the dump instead becomes an extension of that art with mine or yours. I was always creating something in my past. Learning new techniques, creating new patterns or something. I loved to paint. I started with pencil drawings, ceramics, oils, then watercolor, pen and ink, acrylics and filled my emptiness with art. I loved the whimsical side of art/crafts and did whatever fed that need for joy and admittedly praise. We all need to be encouraged so we can grow as an artist or anything else. Without it, we will most likely wither and die. Chapter 2: My second husband came along at a time when I really needed support. It was amazing how well we understood each other. His kindness and support gave me hope that I could get through this. Eventually we fell in love and married. He supported me in every way. He believed in me, my creativity, and then kept telling me I needed to get back into doing art. Every day he encouraged and inspired me to do more. He was proud of me, loved and respected me too. When he died, it overwhelmed me to a point I was stuck in a very bad place. I did everything I could to push past those darkest of days. I moved, sold my home and over half of what was in it. I kept a lot of my art and craft supplies. It has been 2 years and I still haven't really used most of what is left. Until I break though this block, I don't think I will ever move forward enough to be happy or feel joy. Being alone most of the time has many challenges. Its hard to fill a day of loneliness with joy. Especially when every day we had together was filled with love and happiness. I am not a socialite, I enjoyed going out with my husband. I am a loner most of the time, but I don't like going places alone. I have done it, I don't really appreciate the lack of conversation during dinner, shopping, festivals etc. We enjoyed the same things and filled our life with music and being together. An occasional friend who may text or call makes my day. A neighbor who is very kind and helpful when I need him. But, at the end of the day, it is just me and my cat. This is why it is so important to gain my creativity back. So I can immerse myself in it and not be in my head all the time. Part of this glue book is also for manifesting my desires. So I can live my life in a better way. Not just in art, but in my dwelling, creating a landscape that will bring me peace and comfort. I doubt there will be a chapter 3. I am not looking for love. Just someone that shares my interests and I can depend on. A previously created Steampunk themed Junk journal with box.
I heard news about a friend that is so heartbreaking, but their courage is amazing. I think about my own life and I realize that we all have challenges. It is how we react and ultimately respond to those challenges that makes us or breaks us. As I think about the physical and emotional challenges I face, none are as bad as they could be. I only wish I could do something to take that burden away from her. It is not my path, but I can be supportive. I can be an ear if she needs one. I can be a shoulder if she needs that too. As with all life challenges that is what we all need. To have someone to lean on. Someone we can trust not to judge or scoff at behind their back. If you are unable to cope with it don't be there and let that person down. Show support in any other way you can. That shows compassion more than being something you are not.
Welcome to December. Its a cold and rainy day. I hope we get more sunshine.
The holidays are the hardest. 2 years in a row I was alone for Christmas. I no longer want to decorate since there's no one here to share it with.
Being Emotionally Unavailable
Day after day I find myself reliving the past. Healing my shadow self is a lot of stressful work, but it is definitely worth doing. I tried so many things in the past that opened the locked doors in my mind, but never really addressed and solved the issues. Therapy, hypnosis, meditation, and much more...
https://youtu.be/6RxAT0XeV6k?si=ILIn2rlzJ1M_q5AB
Moving forward one step at a time
Grief has a way of just keeping your thoughts and desires from being recognized by anyone you know, unless you tell them of your feelings. ...